Catalogs and Calculations

Random- [ran-duhm] adjective: proceeding, made, or occurring without definite aim, reason, or pattern

List- [list] noun: a series of names or other items written or printed together in a meaningful grouping or sequence so as to constitute a record

Old vs New

• Old- Own bedroom with a door!
• New- Finally a big, comfy, much needed bed (Amanda like:))
  
• Old- The best shower head ever! I LOVE great water pressure
• New- Wi-fi. Meaning I can be anywhere in the house and be able to watch every episode of Toddlers and Tiaras that Netflix has to offer! (stop judging! I'm conducting a study on how psychotic parent's can be and this is part of my research!)
• Old- Never having to buy toilet paper or paper towel. (Roommate's got that Cosco card yo!)
• New- Right across the street from the park. Actually in my territory. Closer to just about everyone else.
  
• Old- Super close to work and Trader Joe's, and just about every train.
• New- Super cheap rent.
• Old- Skylight! And cable! Great neighbors!
• New- No time limit required!

Thought: is it add-ress? or ah-dress? Is my inner Midwest girl coming out?

Wishlist

• Start taking my vitamins again. As much as I hate to admit this, I sadly will not be forever young:( So I need to start tricking my body that it is and to hold on to our youth with the magic beans that are Chewable Flintstones vitamins!
• Read my magazines before the start of the month
• Get proper footwear for this coming winter in the city. Winter wet shoes. Winter dry shoes. Winter boots. Winter dress shoes. Winter dress boots.
  
• My dream job. (Please, please, please, please, plea......)
• Rediscover my inner domestic goodness. Get back in touch with my Nigella Lawson side. Have dinner parties!
  

I have just shy of 10 years left until I'm 30! Holy snikies! When did that happen???? Oh my goodness. I feel like I still have SO much I wanna do.....and now there is a time factor.....before I'm old and busted....and now I'm depressed.

Isabella: I love you so much. I hope you know that. Without you in my life I would have never known what it means to be an aunt to someone. To take care of someone, to look after them, and watch them grow. We kinda grew up together you and me. You came into my life when I was 14, and there is where you will forever stay no matter the distance between us. I hope for you to grow up a beautiful girl that focuses more on the inside then the exterior. Make opinions and feelings, and stick to your guns, be a little left of center-it's okay to be different (you will have a lot more fun that way) Don't forget the difference between right and wrong. I know some in your life will try to blur the lines between the two, but do what's right, no matter how hard that may be. Understand and apply what the words truth and honesty mean. Surround yourself with loving people who make you want to be a better person but who also stick to you during the ugly moments of life. Don't be afraid to be sad or scared or worried, or mad, but don't wallow in those emotions forever. Try everything in your power to be happy. Laugh (from deep down in your gut) every single day! Try to the best of your ability to find the good in people, and situations. Don't carry the weight of the world with you. Enjoy being a kid now, this is the only time you can be, and trust me, there will come a day when you will want to be 6 years old again SO BAD! I know things are a little rough right now, but keep that head up girl. Know that I think about you every day, and miss you like crazy. No matter what happens in life, know that you are genuinely loved by your family because you changed our world's forever. I never knew I could love someone I just met as much as I love you. Your my favorite ding-dong! And if you ever need to run away, you are ALWAYS welcomed to New York City to crash with your way cool aunt! I love you like I love farts baby doll! Here's to hoping to seeing you soon...

I Love The Rain The Most

It is raining in New York City. It has been raining since Tuesday (or possibly Monday night and I was too passed out asleep to notice). To truthfully honest: I do not hate the rain. Sure, it is a pain to try to avoid all the massive puddles everywhere. And trying to juggle holding your bag, the newspaper, an umbrella and a green tea all while trying to talk to your mother on the phone does present some complications. But all things considered, I kinda like the rain. I could see thought how one bad day could turn this into a love/hate relationship, but we will cross that bridge, when and if that day ever comes. I have some favorites that I always want to do on a rainy day, and they are as follows:

• sleep in. sleep all day if that is an option. the rain is the world's most perfect sleep inducing thing. it is nature's lullaby:)
• wear really baggy sweats, including thick chunky socks (think 90's-Alanis Morisette-esque!) and make it a goal to stay inside all day.
• things to do while inside all day-watch One Fine Day, Stepmom, The Godfather Part 2, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, Guys and Dolls, Manhattan Murder Mystery, or a Freak and Geeks marathon.
  
• your rainy day play list should consist of Miles Davis, Edith Piaf, St. Vincent, Jens Lekman, U2, Feist, David Gray, Bright Eyes, and early Dashboard Confessional.
• cook! bake! whatever is it, just create food. I'm think chicken and dumplings, some type of pie, cupcakes, even bread, lovely and glorious, BREAD!
• if you must go out, please wear weather appropriate clothing, not something that will be completely ruined from a single drop of moisture.
  
• places to go to during a rainy day: a bookstore, museums, art galleries, the public library, a bakery, walk the Brooklyn Bridge
• all I want to do right now is curl up with my sweats and a glass of red wine and get lost in a book in front of a fireplace.
  

Oh, Did You See That? The Game Just Changed!

So oddly enough, I am not freaking out. YAY!

Don't get it twisted, there are plenty of things happening that could easily send me over into an all out panic induced. stressed to the max, raging zombie.....but as of yet, the coast is clear, no scary monster on the horizon. All is safe:)

Here are some of the things I should/could be freaking out over, they are as follows:

1. My landlords are moving. It is still unknown if they are planning on selling the whole brownstone, or if they are just gonna rent out the bottom apartment. Until we know what their plans are, all of us tenants are in a bit of a limbo. And this move in happening in September, roughly 2 months away. Also, my part really depends on what my roommate decides she is going to do, since I am renting from her. So in the broadest possible terms, I could be homeless shortly. However, I am not freaking out. Honestly! I mean, I guess this isn't the first time that I have encountered a looming deadline to move. And I can't do anything to stop this from happening, right? I'm powerless, and not entirely hating it.
2. My sister is about to pop any day now, and I am roughly 5 states away. I was there for her every step of the way with her 1st pregnancy. We're talking, I was taking her pre-natal vitamins so my Mom would think she was taking them. I would go to the store and get her In-Touch magazines and bite size Snickers. I would stay up late nights when she couldn't sleep and watch movies with her. I would help her fight with the cat when she wanted to lay down on the couch. I even lent her my shoes and jacket when she was going to the hospital, which sad to say, never were returned to me because her water broke over EVERYTHING. Gross. This time around, it is so different. I haven't even seen her pregnant. And, I don't know when I'll be able to go home next to see the bambino. Again, I can't freak out yet, the baby hasn't even been born.
3. School is starting in a little over 2 weeks! And, as usual, I am barely prepared. I just found my letter last night. But, I am so excited. I cannot wait. I NEED it! At the same time, I know that I do not know what I'm about to get into. It's going to be a lot of work, and a lot of self-examination (frightening!)
4. This one ties into #3. School is two weeks long. Work has been amazing enough to give me the time off for it. That being said, in realist of terms that mean 2 whole weeks without being paid. And I live in New York City. It's not cheap. I will not be getting 2 weeks free of rent. So, it is going to be tight! But, my brain is not letting me dwell on that too much. I'm being as frugal as I can now, and I know Jah will provide the rest:)
5. My mother is a bit stressed out. And as I take on the role of her protector, I feel it is my responsibility to not let that happen. I am happy to report that this time around, even though I am concerned and of course care, I am not letting it affect my outlook at the moment.
6. I need to have a "real" conversation with someone. Don't misunderstand, I always try to be honest, and upfront with everyone. This time however it is.....delicate? Oh, I don't know. This one I have nervous belly. Actually this out of everything is probably what I am most nervous about. It figures, the one thing that isn't necessary is what my attention is on.

1, 2, 3, 4........

There are few things that you can count on in life. But the few that you can, make me smile. Let's talk about my family. I can count on no matter what time I was ever coming home, my great ole Dad would always be waiting up for me, no matter what. You can count on him being in the La-Z-Y Boy with the TV on and the phone right next to him. And then, as if a reflex, he will tell you to lock the door behind you. Where ever I find myself in life, I can find comfort that if I called my Dad and said that I am on my way home, he will wait up for me. Thanks Dad!

I can count on that at least once through out the day, my roommate will use the expression, "not for nothing..." And to tell you the truth, I'm not 100% positive what that even means. Is it the same thing as saying "at least...."?

I can count on that when I ask Sergio how he is doing, he will say "good, good!". And Andreas will always want to know if I had a good weekend. And that every time Dixen calls he will mis-hear me and say " Hey Samantha, this is Dixen..."

I can count on that if I make the R train that comes to my stop at 8:06, it will be the train with the conductor who is so Brooklyn. "Stand clear of da closing doors, DeKalb next......Borough Hall...." And, I have a bit of a voice crush on him.

I can count on myself making myself look like a complete idiot in front of Jesus' (as in Jose', not Son of God). He is just so professional and straight laced all the time, and STRUCTURE. And I am loud, and distractable, and constantly bump into things. Why do you make me look like a fool??!?!

I will drop at least one thing every day. This fact however does NOT make me smile, it is irritating.