Ticketmaster: Thine Enemy!

Alright, the jig is up Ticketmaster! I am on to you! I'm sharper then Cheddar baby, you can't fool this!

In the most "matter of fact" terms, Ticketmaster is a slut! Oh how she entices you with some of your most beloved artist coming to a town near you and that she is the only thing between you and 500 other people singing the same sweet verse in sync like some powerful children's choir, just less creepy. And oh how simple and easy it "seems". Sssooooo user-friendly (sarcasm if you are that dense). All you need to do is log on at the appropriate date and time and click a few simple buttons and TA-DA, beautiful, coveted golden tickets to the show of your choosing. Right? Right?????

But, Ticketmaster, being the slut that she is, NEGLECTS to tell you that she had already sold a whole bunch of these tickets in a pre-sale. A pre-sale that she holds sacred for the maybe 23 people who have American Express cards. So secretive that you didn't even have a clue that this was happening just a few days, ney HOURS before she promised to give you those tickets that you want so desperately! * Either way, you feel like a fool. Stupidly smiling about your day, keeping an eye on the clock because you have a date with Ticketmaster which will inevitably lead to a second date to the Band of Horses show. You idiot! Wipe that pathetic grin off your face, hate to break it to you but you've been two-timed! Don't believe me? Go ahead, log on at 9am just like she told you to and see what happens when you ask for 2 tickets for the best available, and type in that super cryptic word sensor thing and see what her response will be. I'll wait. Oh, what's that? She cannot meet your request? Wha???? But how can that be? She promised! You my friend have been swindled by the ticket slut. Don't fall completely apart, we've all been there my friend.

But to forewarn you a big meanie named Stubhub is going to add insult to injury. BIG TIME. Apparently there are a whole bunch of losers (who may or may not have an American Express card*) who have nothing better to do with their time then buy up a bunch of tickets to events they have absolutely no intention of going to! Then, in their apparent desperation to make a quick dollar and to get their jollies from ripping off innocent people, they go to Stubhub and re-sell these tickets for astronomical amounts!!! So you wanted to see Jens Lekman for $30, now you will have to shell out $125 to see him. Moo-ha-ha! (their evil laugh) Such a jerk. Just throwing it in your face, that they had a little something-something on the side with Ticketmaster that you had no i-d-e-a about. This is what you get for only wanting to spend a few enchanting hours under the melodies and lyrics of Fleet Foxes.

So your going to go through a lot of emotions. Who can you trust? Is loyalty even a thing anymore? How can people be so cruel? Does "big business" even care about the "little guy"? You are going to feel deserted, and beaten up. But know that you are not alone. We've all missed our promised Santigold, Beyonce, Radiohead, and Florence + The Machine tickets, only to end up in despair. But justice will prevail! We can conquer Ticketmaster. Expose her for what she is. Who's with me???

*A note to American Express card holders, I have no beef with you. I think you are great. But it seems like the only super mega rich have AE cards. So it is safe to say I will never have one. But I love your commercials. Like the ones back in the day with Jerry Seinfeld. Good stuff. Hey, now that we are pals, if you do happen to buy tickets for the Death Cab for Cutie show coming up, can you keep me in mind? Thanks!

Space-Time Continuum

Do you think that if you COULD go back in time and get the chance to have a re-do on one particular thing, that would alter everything? By changing one tiny little thing, everything would be changed? Well the theory of space-time continuum certainly thinks so!

All it takes is one distant memory of a decision that you have made. Think about it and the repercussions of said decision.

Example: When I decided to stay with Bevels when they moved and expanded. I wouldn't of had such a crazy, demanding schedule forcing me to miss my Saturday for my circuit assembly. Which then allowed me to go to another one where I ran into Whitney in the bathroom after a few years going by since we last saw each other. From there Whitney became one of the closest people in my life. Then, she decided to move to New York. Where then she eventually moved in with Tassie, and the two of them planned a trip away for three months, allowing Debi and I to sublet from them. Moving me officially to New York.

Wowza!

Just think, if I didn't go to another circuit assembly, would I of still ran into Whitney? Would I of still moved to New York? What are the odds that I would have moved into the same building as Kia? Or even met Debi? Would I of ever ran into Ian and Christina? Would I still have spent basically the entire summer and Ai and Maurice's? How would I have encountered the Vivianos? If we never knew each other in Michigan, what is the probability in New York? If I never met Tassie, where would I be living right now?

If I would have changed my direction of one Saturday, what would my life be like right now?

Hakuna Matata!

It means no worries!!!! A problem free philosophy:)

Ah.....no worries. Problem free. Can you picture it? It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? But life, oh sweet and wonderful and oh so complex, LIFE. Life does not live by this beloved Disney philosophy. At least not yet! Life, (my life, because EHEM, this is MY blog. My blog, my life. Ego-centric? Maybe just a pinch!) life has more problems then a math book. What is it about the new year that makes you reflect and have the sudden urge to change things? Well, whatever the reason, it has captured me under it's spell. You want to hear my verdict for 2011? Come on, don't be shy. It is completely validated that you are on the absolute EDGE of your seat wanting to know the complete misplaced opinions and facts from a little Midwest girl who transplanted herself to the Big City and has had showers and showers of self-realizations, disappointments, and absurd-life-happenings that MAY or may not be the premise to an AMAZING Wes Anderson indie flick. See what I just did there? I talked so much nonsense and used such fantastic cunning trickery that you suddenly forgot the question. And, I have you hooked! Like puddy in my hand you are! So I will proceed with my far fetched ramblings, thank you kindly:0)

......oh man! Now I forgot what I was talking about! Drat the luck! Hold on, let me collect my thoughts again.

OH! Verdict for 2011! How could one forget? Are you ready for it? 2011 sucked. Period. And, unless my survey has taught me wrong, you agree with me. Woo-hoo, high fives all around! Pat yourselves on the back for one crappy year, frustratingly lived! I don't want this to be a post solely dripping with pessimism, because that is no fun. Were there good things that happened? Of course! I finally found a place to live indefinitely, that I also happen to like very much. I got to go to pioneer school which was incredible. I've met and attached myself to some pretty amazing people. My brother is just killing it at life, which makes me ecstatic! I did a cleanse! I finally got through Wuthering Heights, not a small feat! I mastered how to make a pretty respectable poached egg. I've become less dependent on makeup, sometimes I go days being fresh faced for the world to see. I've scored some fantastic finds at thrift/second hand shops. See, good things. However, looking at the 365 days as a whole, not so many smiles times. 2011 had an air of funky disdain to it that lingered on you. Almost like you couldn't escape it.

I am here, standing before you, or more liked sitting before a screen writing to you, either way, I have a proposition for you, and me! (confused yet?) I shall present it to the audience in a formal, respectful way:

I, author of Kula-La-La and spokesperson for my fellow citizens who are ready to leave the year of 2011 behind, have a proposition for the general public. We refuse to let the bitter after taste of one badly, tragic year ruin or alter in any way our sights and ambitions for the future. We will remember lessons learned, and experiences gained, and relationships birthed, and we will proudly enter into the next chapter of life with these new features, but not carrying any of last year's baggage. We will accomplish. We will conquer. We will prevail. We will acquire many moments of happiness and try to the best of our ability to expand these to their absolute limits. We will allow ourselves to have a bad day if needed, but we must leave that day within those 24 hours and not let it attach itself to us and spread like gruesome gang green of life and over take us. We will detach ourselves from what is not necessary or helpful, and instead we will grab hold on to what is essential and things making for joy. We will approach this new blank canvas with hope in our hearts, determination on our brains, and maybe a cupcake and a butterfly or two in our stomachs. We will proceed with optimistic caution knowing full well that we got this! 2011, who needs you? All those in favor say "EY!"

If all else fails (but remember we are thinking positively now) I have decided to adopt the mantra of childhood memories Timon and Pumbaa. When life gets to you, just remember Hakuna Matata, oh what a wonderful phrase!