Dillusions of Appearance

Have you ever had one of those days where you thought you looked completely respectable, cute even.....only to discover later on that you look like a complete crazy mess! Yea.......that tragedy sadly struck me the other day.

Sadly I've worn this outfit combo many times prior to this tragic event. It was a perfect storm of "barely there" make-up, a very androgynous hairstyle, and a very doubty stance (I was EXHAUSTED! LEAVE ME ALONE!), and a usually delicate and adorable necklace gone all too wrong!

Lets give you the rundown:

Shirt: Blue button up (one of my favorites! So comfortable and I ALWAYS think it looks good, but now looking back I see that I have only received ONE! UNO! Compliment on it! Yikes!)

Pants: Black dress pants. Otherwise known as fancy pants! Otherwise known as the entire contents of my closet due to working in the salon industry. Otherwise known as "slacks" to my grandmother.

Shoes: Red pair of TOMS. Super comfortable, but worn with not the right attire......inevitably lesbian shoes.

(*let me just say right here, this outfit sounds really bad now that I write it all out. DOG GONE IT! In my defense, I was really tired, and I was just going to work so I didn't care what I looked like, and I just wanted to be comfortable. It is A LOT of pressure on a gal to be looking good at all times. I'm at a point in my life where pants are my enemy, so just be happy I had pants on UNIVERSE!)

My make-up was not on point either. I looked really washed out and my eyes seemed to almost be non existent..if that is even possible. But I can TOTALLY blame that one on lack of sleep, because I don't even remember ever putting make-up on. (Have I mentioned that I've been really tired?)

The hair. Oh Lord, that hair! I am ashamed:( It was yet again one of those freakishly warm days in February, that are humid and a tad cold and super windy all at the same time. Uugghh. The weather is ruining my self confidence in my ability to dress myself in a respectable manner. Anyways, the weather was insane and I did not want to be bothered. My hair was in it's natural curly/wavy/not-too-sure-what-it-is-but-can-sometimes-pass-as-beach-hair-but-other-times-makes-me-look-like-a-5-year-old-who-went-to-bed-with-wet-hair-and-had-crazy-dreams (what a beautiful picture that is!) Anyways, like I was saying, I did not want to be bothered so I twisted is back ever so softly on both sides and tied it up in a low bun. I thought is was very whimsy looking, very soft and lady like.

Did you ever see that episode of Parks and Recreation when Leslie has a special event to go to, and she goes to the barber for him to style her hair, which he does like "the mayor" and she is wearing that suit and Ann is her date and everyone thinks they are a couple and she is completely oblivious to all of it? That was me! My hair, if looked at straight on looked JUST like an old dude's hairstyle. Combined that with the men's button up shirt, and bad posture (my mother would be so proud), and that necklace that ended up looking like I was wearing a gold chain (????? Oh the horror!) Boy was I a sight for sore eyes! Worse of all, no one the whole day told me that I looked like Barbra Streisand when she was posing as a boy in Yentl. The only difference was she did that willingly, on purpose. Mine was a total accident, a HUGE mistake!

Now I am going to have to rid my closet of this horrendous, hideous outfit FOREVER! Nothing can humble you quite like that of knowing every single person you passed was confused by if you were a pubescent slightly feminine boy or just a sad lady with bad fashion sense and a desperate need of a makeover.

To everyone that encountered me: YES! I was that lady man lady you saw! Geez! Drop it already! No one is perfect!