Birthday Suits and Hair Removal

So last night my roommate witnessed a full on nude lady walking the streets of Brooklyn. Butt naked! Well, completely naked except for the shoes she had on. Heels to be exact. She was seen walking across the intersection of Smith and Bergen, arm in arm with a fully clothed woman. And for whatever reason, I am so intrigued by this. I had so many questions that I desperately seem to need answers too. Who was this woman? Why was she naked? Where was she coming from? Where was she going? Who was the fully clothed lady? Was she crazy? What did her hair look like? Was she wearing jewelry? Did she have makeup on? To my despair, my roommate gave the "I don't know" answer to most of these questions. COME ON!!! You can't drop a bomb that you may or may not have had a run in with a nudist in New York City and not have any more details for me! Or at least elaborate and lie to me just for the heck of it! So for all my friends that I know want all the juicy facts, so we can later conspire as to what actually took place on a Wednesday evening, here they are:

There was a lady, in her 30's, dressed nicely, average prettiness, walking arm in arm with a lady in her 40's, who was naked in heels. The said nude person acted as if not a single thing was out of the ordinary. She was not talking loud, or drawing any more unnecessary attention to herself. She seemed unbelievably normal, besides the fact that she was wearing her birthday suit out and about. She was neither overly skinny, or fat by any means. My roommate caught the backside of her and said she looked pretty good considering her age. And for reasons I'm not even too sure of, this mysterious naked woman instantly became my idol! I mean, how can you not cheer for some naked 40ish year old woman walking the streets like she straight owns them! The confidence on her! Bravo, naked lady, BRAVO! I fear I maybe have one or two (maybe) more dimples on this backside of mine than what would merit a body deserving of showing off to to the Big Apple.

And this is just a side bar, but does anyone else get extremely angry or find it hysterical when you are getting your eyebrows done (either waxing or threading) and then they ask if you want your upper lip done too? What are you implying here? Are you saying that my upper lip is somewhat resembling that of a hipster wannabe? Wha?!?! Sometimes that comment ruins my day and other times it makes my day. But mostly I want to shout HECK NO you are not going to thread my peach fuzz!!!! I would rather have nails driven under my nail beds. A part of me thinks that my new naked idol friend would sit her cheeks in that chair and take it like a champ that she is......