Dear Friend,
Boy have I been missing you! It feels like a lifetime has passed since I last saw or spoke to you. I know that there are circumstances that make communication with you a no-go at the moment, but it still doesn't mean that I do not miss you like crazy and think about you often. I do hope all is going well with you, and that you are getting back on track.
I can not tell you how many times I've gone to pick up the phone to ask if you want to go grab a drink, or if you want to go to the beach on Saturday, or to tell you the latest crazy thing my sister did, or to get your opinion on what he really meant when he said "......". I can feel a definite void in my life since you have took your leave. I know that both you and I have trouble really connecting to people, and I think that is what made our friendship so dear to me. I could count on you to help, to be a voice of reason, to make me laugh, to be adventurous, to be a friend. And, I miss all of that.
I miss being able to call you up and saying let's have a lazy day, and you would be game. I miss saying let's go on a road trip, and you would say what time? I appreciated so much you dealing with my crazy, at time selfish, overly anxious, and slightly uber critical person that I can become all too often. Life is just different without you around. Plain and simple. You are truly one of the best people I have ever known if my life, hands down!
I cannot help but to feel guilty about you. Was I there for you? Could I have done more? Should I have shown you some tough-love? Why didn't I see some warning signs earlier? Did you feel like I took people from you? If any of these things added any bit of pain to you, I am SO unbelievably sorry. The thought that I was not a good friend to you when you needed it the most it something that makes me feel sick. I have nothing else to say, but, I am sorry.
Sincerely,
Amanda
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